Birthdays and Anullments

First off, I'd like to say thanks to anyone who wished me a happy birthday or anyone who even bothered to remember. It was nice, feeling special, even if only for a moment. What did I get? Not a lot. But I'm not complaining. I got everything I asked for (well, it was only one thing.), and everything I deserved. Or rather, the nothing that I deserved. Anyway, here's a compiled list of what I received for this joyous occasion.

1) A 'Happy Birthday' post typed in large letters from the Bones message board. I think she was the first to do so.

2) Verbal 'Happy Birthdays' from various people at school. I'm not going to name them, partially because I can't. Thanks, everyone.

3) A dollar from Thalia at lunch.

4) About last week, the DVR I asked for. I've been recording like crazy. Courtesy of my dear mother. And a maybe shopping trip with my mom.

5) Two hundred dollars from the dad.



Does that make up for one missed birthday and a Christmas? I don't know. Well, to tell you the truth, I was surprised. My dad called the house. I was alone with my brother. He says he's sending someone to come over to give me some money for birthday. I just say 'okay'. So, this has got me worried. I didn't call my mom, didn't tell her. She doesn't know. Am I wrong for keeping it from her?

So on with the birthday thing. My dad sends one of his employees, someone I know, to our house, to give me 200 dollars. I don't think my dad can legally come to our house, with the whole divorce still going on. So yeah, the first conversation of any kind with the man in over 5 months, and that's all he has to say. I'm kind of glad. I didn't want to get deep.

My mom comes home and tells me that he asked for me at the store. Well, technically, his employee asks for me. Which, I'm guessing, is before the call. She asks me if I want to go, and I say no, well because, I already have what he was going to give me! She still doesn't know. I regret it, but I'm in a rut here. I've just complicated my life.

The divorce has been going on for about a year and five months now. Expensive supreme court lawyers, custody battles over my brother; my dad doesn't want custody of me. On the papers, it does. But it's only to look good in court. When I hit 18, he won't have to pay child support for me. It's only 3 years away. Ongoing disputes between my parents for their business. Money. It always comes back down to money.

Money ruined my life. And yet, I can't NOT have it. Maybe greed has pulled me in. Or perhaps, I'm only human.