Some (not so) Insightful Things

I can officially say I'm a TV junkie. I don't think 'obsessed' describes what this is. More like 'entranced' or 'mesmerized'. It's a shame, really. I'm to the point where I don't even want to go out anymore! Well, that's not all that alarming, on account of that fact that I've never wanted to go out. Would you call me anti-social? I don't think I am. I think I'm just....reserved. I'm not the type of person to approach someone, if you catch my drift. So, if you think I'm sending you flirty eyes, or 'signals', I'm not. I don't do that stuff. Or maybe that's just me working on my cold, mysterious persona. Nowadays, not many things hold my interests. School, the internet, and television. That's basically it. But I guess you could say my interests are broader than they seem. With the internet, I have access to a vast spectrum of endless possibilities and knowledge. Sure beats going to the library. I mean, why should I go out and meet people? Who haven't I met? Even if I were to hypothetically GO to one of these get togethers that seem endless, what are the chances I'll form a lasting relationship, platonic or not? In the words of Debbie Tuggle, slim-to-none. Online, you could say I have an alter ego. I can organize my thoughts before I click 'send', make someone think I have the slightest bit of intellect, and even gain some self-confidence by taking inaccurate IQ tests. (Which I, by the way, scored a 142 on. It's kind of shocking, since I scored 4 out of 15 questions RIGHT. Lol. It was the advanced IQ test on Facebook.) So, yeah, you could say my fantasy life, is much more enjoyable. In the real world, who would find me enticing? I day dream about someday, going to university, getting my Master's (or Doctorate, even), and joining a crime fighting squad. Unrealistic, I know. There's just something about crime that draws me in. I think it' just the way television makes it so...dramatic. Someone who knows an FBI agent told me that their lives aren't even that exciting. It's quite a slap in the face. I don't know how I'd do in the real world. I'm all about procedure, and step-by-step.

It's amazing how off-topic I can get. There really is no point to these blogs, just as you're wasting your time reading them. I know no one can genuinely care. We go about our lives, striving to form lasting relationships, when in all actuality, it's for our own personal benefit. Someone to love, someone to care about, someone to care about you, or someone who will even for a second, stop and lend a helping hand. Is that the meaning of life, what seperates us from the beast? The quest to find a meaningful relationship with someone(s). No, I'm not just talking about your 'soulmate'. I'm talking, friends, family, lovers. Can anyone really, be completely self-less? We form bonds, and tell ourselves, "I'm happy". But are you really? Can any teen or young adult understand what real happiness and fulfillment is? I think not. Anyone who lies to themself to believe it is an idiot. There is no real happiness for someone as young as us. We depend on others, on parents, grandparents, friends. I think that no one can truly be HAPPY until they are self-dependent, self-sufficient, and substantial. We have no real value. We're just pawns in the "bigger plan". Generic clones, if you will. We learn the same things, hear the same things. Sure, we can form our little cliques, and dress and certain way, in a lame attempt to seperate. But, as I see it, the more you try to be different, the more the same you become.

I think the TV hase clouded my thoughts. I'm corrupt. I'm delusional. I'm mad. Or maybe, I'm seeing clearly.