What's my facade?

I'm having mixed feelings right now. I don't know what to feel. Should I be ashamed to say I want to know what people think about me? I've never heard of anyone saying bad things about me, but everyone talks about everyone, right? I say some things I don't mean, not often, but when I do, I know it right then and there. Do I come off as cold? Anti-social? (Honestly, I'm not THAT bad at socializing; I just don't like to.) Quiet? Shy? I KNOW I'm shy.

While walking down the hall either yesterday, or the day before, I heard someone say "bitch" as I was walking past. Looking directly at me. I know who it is, but I'm not going to say it. What have I done? AM I a bitch? I've sat and watched people talk about other people behind their back. What do people say about me, behind MY back? I know one thing, I'm getting tired of people calling me, "smart", or "genius". They give me more credit I deserve. I don't see the significance of ANYTHING I do. I just don't understand it at all. I'm terrified of the harder classes, as I get older. Teachers always talk about those "special" students excelling in their classes, and I'm thinking, "There's only one?" Is it THAT hard? Am I capable? My worst fear is failing at something I can't do. Being incapable.

I complain about myself way to much. And I doubt more than 2 people even read this.