I take back what I said...

Okay, so I realize I said I would still post here, but...

I've decided after all the hassle, I like LiveJournal better. Don't hate me!
This blog will still exist, but it won't be very active.
I will primarily be posting there, so be sure to subscribe with your Blogger, if you have one! Or better yet, friend me on LJ!

christinaof94.blogspot.com

My New Doo'

I got a hair cut today...It's an epic failure. I can't rock bangs. TT_TT

I miss my old hair. Majorly.

Tryin' out the frontal look...

Webcam shot... :/

Just hosting some pics, nothing to see here.

Don't read this blog. I'm just using this so I can get URL's for these pics. Move along now, nothing to see here. :)

I can't comment.

I don't know why, but I can't comment on any Blogger pages. :/


This is what it looks like on all the forms. See the little drop down box? It's messed up. When I click to select an account or whatever, nothing shows up. And when I click Post Comment, nothing happens. It may be a glitch in the coding or something....Blogger needs to fix it, or I'll migrate to LiveJournal!! LOL. That's some threat right there.

This majorly sucks.

Epitome of an Aficionada!

I just spent over 2 hours setting up my LiveJournal.

The templates, colors, banners, etc. (If you check it out, you'll notice I have the same banner as above. ^_^) My head hurts, everything is such a drag. Hopefully, once I get everything completely squared away, I can start posting, etc. I've decided to just keep this blog and the LJ one and see how it goes.

Epitome of an Aficionada (christinaof94.livejournal.com)

Anyway, if you have an LJ (or not), be sure to check it out!

LiveJournal

I''ve set up a LiveJournal account...

I don't know what I'm going to do, because I really don't want to run two blogs. Too much hassle. I wonder if Blogger or LJ has to the option of exporting/importing blogs...I don't want to loose all (although, not much) that've I've done with THIS blog.

I started a LiveJournal because it's more "community" oriented. I figured I'd get more readers. I don't want to lose this blog, either, though....

Any suggestions?

Monika Idiosyncrasy, Indeed.

Here's a third I'm going to make really quick.

So, I have this BFF who has a real, passionate desire to do photography. Whoever happens to read this, go check out her Deviantart! Amazing photography. :P (And Monika, whenever I get more reads - one day - this will be beneficial. ONE DAY!)

Here are some samples of her work, and a link.

monika-idiosyncrasy.deviantart.com

monika-idiosyncrasy.deviantart.com

monika-idiosyncrasy.deviantart.com

monika-idiosyncrasy.deviantart.com

What's my facade?

I'm having mixed feelings right now. I don't know what to feel. Should I be ashamed to say I want to know what people think about me? I've never heard of anyone saying bad things about me, but everyone talks about everyone, right? I say some things I don't mean, not often, but when I do, I know it right then and there. Do I come off as cold? Anti-social? (Honestly, I'm not THAT bad at socializing; I just don't like to.) Quiet? Shy? I KNOW I'm shy.

While walking down the hall either yesterday, or the day before, I heard someone say "bitch" as I was walking past. Looking directly at me. I know who it is, but I'm not going to say it. What have I done? AM I a bitch? I've sat and watched people talk about other people behind their back. What do people say about me, behind MY back? I know one thing, I'm getting tired of people calling me, "smart", or "genius". They give me more credit I deserve. I don't see the significance of ANYTHING I do. I just don't understand it at all. I'm terrified of the harder classes, as I get older. Teachers always talk about those "special" students excelling in their classes, and I'm thinking, "There's only one?" Is it THAT hard? Am I capable? My worst fear is failing at something I can't do. Being incapable.

I complain about myself way to much. And I doubt more than 2 people even read this.

Drifter

Sorry, guys, no deep, moving, impacting blog this time. Just me. Talking about my life. (Which, by the way, isn't all that exciting.)

I should probably be asleep right now. It's a school night, and I'm a responsible student. Really though. I'm doing all my assignments ahead of time, and all that jazz. Biology due this Friday, assigned a MONTH ago? Check. Finished that the day after it was assigned. (Well, technically, I still have to glue the paper to the poster...I keep forgetting to bring it home; tomorrow will be the day!) French project? Check. Chapter notes for "A Walk to Remember"? Almost check. I'm half way through, and I started yesterday. You could say I'm a decent student, right? Well, honestly, I have no ambition, no WILL to do this. I just breezed through it and got it over with, so I could get on the computer. I can't sit still, and I can't concentrate, until I check my messages on the Bones forum. I think I have a problem. Only then, can I get any work done.

I just hope no essays or papers are going to be assigned any time soon. I really hate those. But I have to get used to 'em, I guess. If I'm going to be attending college, right? I want to go, and get it over with so bad. I wish I had no distractions, no obsessions with TV shows. But I can't stop myself, can't keep myself away. My mind is NEVER 100% on the work I'm doing. My mind will tend to stray away...and I have to put in an EFFORT to even concentrate. It's pathetic, and I don't know how I've stooped this low.

Ugh, it's almost time for me to seriously go to sleep. Good night.

Gavin Newsom, Bones, and Stewie!

This blog is going to be pretty multi-faceted, as I'm going to touch on a lot of subjects. (Mainly two.)

I found this video a couple of days ago. I actually like what this particular politician (Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom) has to say, and I would say, I have to agree. I'm not going to say a lot about it, because you're going to have to watch it. I guess he's a good politician than, because I'm agreeing with him, and I don't even live in his state.

Leave comments!

~*~*~*~*~
The following is me ranting about stuff you probably don't care about. If you don't want to waste about 2 minutes of your life, you can stop reading now.

Fox Broadcasting has jipped 10 million viewers, yet again. After diligent promotions and advertising of 11 CONSECUTIVE episodes, with no interruptions, Fox has preempted Bones one week due to President Obama's press conference. Now, I don't blame the POTUS in any way. This is Fox's doing. they've shifted American Idol (a mindless reality show), into Bones' slot for next week. I wouldn't be so mad if this were the first, or even the second time. We've only had about 5 episodes over the course of 3 months. We're supposed to have an episode A WEEK. Now, we risk one episode being cut this season, or even worse, a post-poned season finale. I've sent 2 email inquiries to Fox about this; yet, I'm still awaiting a reply.

Bones, what could be one of television's top rated show's, is the underdog. Always the first to get bumped. How do I know it could be on top? People who don't even watch the show know, that Bones has a cult following. And I'm not ashamed to say, I'm a part of it.

There's not much I can do about it. I've sent emails to TV Guide, Matt Roush at TV Guide, Ausiello at EW, Kristen at E!, not to mention tons of various comments to other entertainment sources. Maybe THEY'LL get it across to Fox that enough is enough.

~*~*~*~*~

On another note, did you know Bones is doing a cross over with FAMILY GUY?! A comedy/drama/procedural doing a crossover with a cartoon! I've got to see this. A lot of people are being pessimists about it, saying how it's unrealistic, etc. But it IS realistic. I know of several instances where a person has Vicodin, Morphine, pain killer induced hallucinations! (In this case, it's Booth, the male lead, that's going to be going through a 'health crisis' and hallucinating Stewie.)

Some people are really upset...but others are extremely happy. Like me. :D


Here's the link to the spoiler, not that I expect you to click it. To you, I'm just an obsessive fan: http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/03/exclusive-bones.html#more

Edit: I just read the sides (lines) that Stewie is going to be in; and all I've got to say is this is pure comedic GOLD! Absolute brilliance. You non-Bones fans will definitely wanna check this out. Finale's on May 14th.

Some (not so) Insightful Things

I can officially say I'm a TV junkie. I don't think 'obsessed' describes what this is. More like 'entranced' or 'mesmerized'. It's a shame, really. I'm to the point where I don't even want to go out anymore! Well, that's not all that alarming, on account of that fact that I've never wanted to go out. Would you call me anti-social? I don't think I am. I think I'm just....reserved. I'm not the type of person to approach someone, if you catch my drift. So, if you think I'm sending you flirty eyes, or 'signals', I'm not. I don't do that stuff. Or maybe that's just me working on my cold, mysterious persona. Nowadays, not many things hold my interests. School, the internet, and television. That's basically it. But I guess you could say my interests are broader than they seem. With the internet, I have access to a vast spectrum of endless possibilities and knowledge. Sure beats going to the library. I mean, why should I go out and meet people? Who haven't I met? Even if I were to hypothetically GO to one of these get togethers that seem endless, what are the chances I'll form a lasting relationship, platonic or not? In the words of Debbie Tuggle, slim-to-none. Online, you could say I have an alter ego. I can organize my thoughts before I click 'send', make someone think I have the slightest bit of intellect, and even gain some self-confidence by taking inaccurate IQ tests. (Which I, by the way, scored a 142 on. It's kind of shocking, since I scored 4 out of 15 questions RIGHT. Lol. It was the advanced IQ test on Facebook.) So, yeah, you could say my fantasy life, is much more enjoyable. In the real world, who would find me enticing? I day dream about someday, going to university, getting my Master's (or Doctorate, even), and joining a crime fighting squad. Unrealistic, I know. There's just something about crime that draws me in. I think it' just the way television makes it so...dramatic. Someone who knows an FBI agent told me that their lives aren't even that exciting. It's quite a slap in the face. I don't know how I'd do in the real world. I'm all about procedure, and step-by-step.

It's amazing how off-topic I can get. There really is no point to these blogs, just as you're wasting your time reading them. I know no one can genuinely care. We go about our lives, striving to form lasting relationships, when in all actuality, it's for our own personal benefit. Someone to love, someone to care about, someone to care about you, or someone who will even for a second, stop and lend a helping hand. Is that the meaning of life, what seperates us from the beast? The quest to find a meaningful relationship with someone(s). No, I'm not just talking about your 'soulmate'. I'm talking, friends, family, lovers. Can anyone really, be completely self-less? We form bonds, and tell ourselves, "I'm happy". But are you really? Can any teen or young adult understand what real happiness and fulfillment is? I think not. Anyone who lies to themself to believe it is an idiot. There is no real happiness for someone as young as us. We depend on others, on parents, grandparents, friends. I think that no one can truly be HAPPY until they are self-dependent, self-sufficient, and substantial. We have no real value. We're just pawns in the "bigger plan". Generic clones, if you will. We learn the same things, hear the same things. Sure, we can form our little cliques, and dress and certain way, in a lame attempt to seperate. But, as I see it, the more you try to be different, the more the same you become.

I think the TV hase clouded my thoughts. I'm corrupt. I'm delusional. I'm mad. Or maybe, I'm seeing clearly.

I L♥ve Your Blog!

Marisa (Shadow_Gal)*, has ever so kindly awarded this to me! Thanks! This is like the first time I've won anything....kind of.

Here's what to do if you would like to award someone as well!
1) Put this image on your blog. Your sidebar, under posts, wherever!
2) Make sure you thank the person who awarded you! Put a link to their blog!
3) Nominate other blogs! Your friends, or awesome blogs you read! Write them a comment with the link to your award post, and let them know you nominated them!

My nominees are...
monika-idiosyncrasy (It's a deviantart. :)
Bones Spoiler Blog (Because I'm an obsessive fanatic.)

I have only 2...since those are the only 'blog' type things that I read.

*Note: To my real life friends, this is not the Marisa from school. Just so you know. ;)

Newsweek Article: The Good Book and Gay Marriage

Well, as I was browsing articles for out Current Events Article reviews for World Geography, I came across what I thought was a really interesting article. It's a debate between Bill Wylie-Kellerman (who is pro-gay marriage), a United Methodist serving as pastor at St. Peter's Episcopal Church in Detroit and his opponent, Dr. Barrett Duke, vice president for public policy and research at the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, an agency of the Southern Baptist Convention. Duke argues the bible clearly states homosexuality is an abomination.

Andddd, since I'm a on a roll, I'll post the link. It was published back in December by Newsweek, and it was well worth my time. The article is 8 pages long, so if you're not that into reading....
I don't expect you all to read the entire thing. But just read the first 3, maybe 4 pages. You'll get the jist of it.

Here is the link:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/175223

I commend both men for having beliefs that they hold strong, too.

And at least we know they aren't all loonies like that Shirley Phelps gal, who is an advocate for Westboro Baptist Church and godhatesfags.com. I'm pretty sure their whole conjugation is out of whack. Here's a video promoted by them, just for your trouble.



Those people make me sick. They put man-kind to shame. Don't get me wrong. I know not every Christian is like this. But I'm not just talking about Christians. I'm talking about people in general. But when you discriminate, and show hate or disgust towards a group of people who has done you know harm, this is what you look like. No matter how nice you are in front of people or when you talk to them.
And that Asian man? He almost makes me ashamed of being Asian. Of being even in the same ethnicity. Just almost.

What if God Disappeared?

Just for shits and giggles, here is a condensed version of Edward Current's, "What If God Disappeared" video.

********************************************************

Many people don't believe in God. But, imagine for a moment what would happen if God just suddenly disappeared.

What if we woke up one morning, and God had decided to make himself vanish from sight?

What kind of world would that be like?

I know one thing, we Christians would be the first to know, because we can sense God's presence within us.

If God disappeared, we would instantly feel a huge void in our hearts.

We would be empty, and hopeless, and desperate inside.
Like Atheists feel, today.


If God disappeared, missionaries in Africa and New Orleans would have no reason to help out victims of Malaria, AIDS, and Hurricane Katrina. (None of which, God has anything to do with.)

Spreading gospel to the sick and poor would be pointless! Particularly if the missionaries couldn't benefit in the afterlife for having done so.


If God disappeared, there would be no reason to pray.


Success and failure in life would depend only on hard work and luck, rather than God's bestowing his grace upon us. Or choosing not to, for some mysterious reason.


Missing children might or might not be returned home safely, whether we pray for them or not.



And Thanksgiving would just be another dinner, although there wouldn't be any food, with no God there to provide it.


If God disappeared, natural disasters when begin to strike at random. They'd pay no regard to the religious beliefs of people whose lives they destroy.

Imagine, earthquakes and tsunamis, striking without mercy OR warning.


What a cruel and horrible world THAT would be.

If God disappeared, the simple pleasures in life would be meaningless.


A baby's laugh, rather than bring joy to God's beautiful creations, would become a mere sound, emitted by something that will probably want food soon.


If God disappeared, society would break down immediately. Since out legal system is based on the Christian values of the Bible, as stated in the Constitution, all laws would instantly vanish from the books.



I know I'd lose all sense of right and wrong. I'd likely go on a blood thirsty rampage of killing and cannibalism. Because the fear of disobeying God is presently the only thing preventing me from doing that.

Actually, if God disappeared, we would all suffocate to death, as each breath we draw is a divine gift from our Lord.


In fact, everything that is good from breathing to a child's laugh, to the God fearing morals that prevent us from lustfully devouring each others bloodied corpses, would be gone, if God, disappeared.

Don't let God disappear. Give to your local megachurch today.

For further inquiry, just read the comments! It's really interesting to hear people's thoughts, especially to me. So go ahead, speak your mind. But please respect everyone's beliefs....or at least, don't go too far. This is only discussion, not ethnic slurs.

The Commandments

Monika and I have compiled a list of commandments.
They're not just ANY commandments. They are THE commandments. :D
Credits to whoever came up with it. CD is me. MT is Monika. Ya dig?

"Sent down by Buddha, administered to his loyal disciples, Monika and Christina." LOL.

Commandment I: [MT]
Thou shalt not say "I love you.", unless YOU REALLY FRICKIN' LOVE THEM.

Commandment II: [MT]
Thou shalt not stuff your propaganda up people's arses, unless they consent to it.

Commandment III: [CD]
Thou shalt not be a hypocrite. Meaning, don't act like a goody two shoes, and preach to others, when you're really not.

Commandment IV: [MT]
Thou shalt not beat people down just because they aren't getting knocked up like you are.

Commandment V: [CD]
Thou shalt not deny anyone their human rights, even if it's an inconvenience to you.

Commandment VI: [CD]
Thou shalt not be racist, especially towards Asians. But don't be racist period.

Commandment VII: [Thou Shalt Always Kill by Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip]
Thou shalt not worship pop idols.

Commandment VIII: [MT]
Thou shalt not disregard other persons' problems because they are not your own or because they are inconvenient to you.

Commandment IX: [CD]
Thou shalt not get fucked up on the weekend, and brag about how wasted you got at school, because you look like a blithering idiot.

Commandment X: [CD & MT]
Thou shalt not conform to the masses. Or break from the masses just to be different. Even if you like Britney Spears.

Commandment XI: [Thou Shalt Always Kill by Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip]
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular, you shitty little prick.

Commandment XII: [CD]
Thou shalt not call someone fat, ugly, or gay, just because you think it's funny. It's not.

Commandment XIII: [MT]
Thou shalt not assume every skinny person is happy with their body or is anorexic.

Commandment XIV: [CD]
Thou shalt not assume all Asians eat dog. Bitch.

Commandment XV: [MT]
Thou shalt use archetypes.

Commandment XVI: [CD]
Thou shalt use nerd lingo and incorporate school lessons into everyday conversation in an attempt to sound cooler.

Commandment XVII: [MT]
Thou shalt say "thou".

That's all for now. Maybe updated soon.

Relapse

My whole body hurts right now. I'm sore, and every touch sends shivers down my spine. My eyes BURN when I close them. My throat is probably infected AGAIN and my joints feel like those of an 85 year old woman. I'm hoping it's not a relapse of the throat and sinus infection I had last week. I'm taking my medicine against, because I still had some pills left. Hope it goes away soon. TAKS is on Tuesday. UGH.

Yesterday was a blast; went to the Northpark Mall with Monika. Although, on the ride back, we sang along to random songs in the backseat of my mom's truck. Then my throat started hurting. When I got home, I tried to go to sleep and my throat was KILLING me. Woke up, and it still didn't get better. I went to the mall in Longview and got a hair cut. The whole time, I was miserable because I hurt so bad. I want to cry, close my eyes, and go to sleep at the same time.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Endocranial Mayhem!

I just noticed, I lost a follower. I only had 3, now I'm down to 2. LOL. I'm such a loser...but I guess nobody wants to hear me complain about prime-time television and how I have no life. But you know, all the greats have no lives outside their passions. Well, honestly, I don't care. I'm going to blog about what I want.

Anyway, I heard I should start taking college courses next year. I want to do it and graduate early, but I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, I know it'll benefit me in the long run, because I'll have my core classes out of the way in college, but still. I don't know if I'll be able to balance normal school with the extra. I mean, I already have to put in effort now. Do you think I should drop some Pre-AP classes and do the college credit classes? Or suck it up and do all AP AND college? UGH. I don't know. I mean, I want to take all AP and graduate (hopefully) at the top of the class. I know it's an impossible goal, but I'm willing to climb Everest. (Was that a bad metaphor?) I have to figure out a way to balance it out. And soon. Graduation doesn't seem that far off, even though I'm only a freshman. People are right. High school does go by fast. I'm almost finishing up freshman year, and it seems like I only started. Ugh. I'm morbidly afraid of college, smart, genuis kids, particularly smart, genuis INDIAN kids. You KNOW those kids are freakishly intelligent. So are the Chinese. Fortunately, I'm half Chinese. I've kinda got that smart gene. But only a little. ;)

Next week is going to SUCK. Not only is it TAKS week (stated-mandated test for school), there will be absolutely NO NEW EPISODES of Bones, House OR NCIS. Can you believe it? I think it's because I sent that angry e-mail to Fox. And they conspired my demise by preempting my favorite shows the same week. LOL. Even though NCIS isn't on Fox. It's on CBS. They probably got the word out. 'Conspire against crazy, angry, ranting asians!'

Fin.

Fat Tuesday, and oh, Canada.

I'm going to Mardi Gras with the French club this weekend. Not the one in Louisiana, though, but a celebration in a town about an hour away. The name of said town will remain confidential, mostly because I don't know who exactly reads this mess. LOL. Sadly, French club is the only club I'm in. TT_TT I should have gone to the opera last weekend with them. Oh, well. I'm planning on going to Medeival Times with them in March. :D

Tomorrow will be a great day, I think. The talent show is tomorrow, so I'll be like the other hundreds of kids out of class. (YAY! My camera's ready.) I may be a nerd, but who would pass a "get out of class free" card? Certainly not me. And on top of that, it's an early release day! Report cards are due. My mom will be going to pick it up. I think my grades are top notch...ish. I managed raised my Biology and World Geography PAP to a high A, again. As for English, I'm sure it's not that bad. Mid-A, perhaps. And well, Geometry...I don't know if it's that great. I bombed that Pythagorean Theorem test. (I felt like an IDIOT. I made a 79! +5 bonus points. It should've been EASY.) So, I'm still expecting an A, but not like previous six-weeks. If my mom gripes at me, I'll give her the whole "it's Pre-AP, it's harder than the other classes!" speech. It usually works. And my grades aren't that bad. Geez.

In addition to all that tomorrow? It's BONESDAY! Yay! Lol. A new episode, which I've been awaiting patiently. Well, kind of. Aside from the griping on message boards, complaints to friends, and angry E-mails to Fox, I'd say I'm pretty calm and patient. :D


Did you know that Canadians get new episodes of Bones a day before us? It's not right! They got to see it tonight. I'm moving to Canada. For real this time. Also, the writers and creators of House and Bones are CANADIAN. Do you know how amazing that is? I think I love Canada. With their free health care, gay marriage (which by the way, serves no purpose to me. But still.), and cuter kittens, why NOT move to Canada? If you know me in real life, you'd know that I (& Monika, lol) have a passion for Canada. We even let people think we're Canadian. And some people believe it. But, alas, it's only a facade. Oh, how I wish I was from Canada.



Tootles.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

Another commercial holiday set up by corporations to take our money and for anyone who doesn't have anybody to spend it with to feel like shit. Isn't it great? Oh, well. I can spend it basking in my own sorrows. I don't want want romance. I stopped trying, a LONG time ago. Guys will just be guys, and well, until I find someone worth the while, I'm not planning on any kind of 'dating' and stupid teenage relationships. Which, by the way, 9 times out of 10, don't work out. Never have expectations too high, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment.

My saying? You can either be expect what you saw coming or be pleasantly surprised. It tends to work for me. A pessimist is usually someone who is has already been acquainted with optimism. And I've found out, pessimism is the way to go.

Anyway, here's an NCIS fan video, wonderfully crafted, and amazingly edited. It's made to appear to be like a trailer. I rate it 5 stars, although the ending is quite anti-climatic. But I guess that's what makes it a good "movie trailer". If only, if only.

(Note: To anyone who doesn't know, NCIS is a TV show, not a movie. These scenes and clips are all part of different episodes.)

Enjoy!

Birthdays and Anullments

First off, I'd like to say thanks to anyone who wished me a happy birthday or anyone who even bothered to remember. It was nice, feeling special, even if only for a moment. What did I get? Not a lot. But I'm not complaining. I got everything I asked for (well, it was only one thing.), and everything I deserved. Or rather, the nothing that I deserved. Anyway, here's a compiled list of what I received for this joyous occasion.

1) A 'Happy Birthday' post typed in large letters from the Bones message board. I think she was the first to do so.

2) Verbal 'Happy Birthdays' from various people at school. I'm not going to name them, partially because I can't. Thanks, everyone.

3) A dollar from Thalia at lunch.

4) About last week, the DVR I asked for. I've been recording like crazy. Courtesy of my dear mother. And a maybe shopping trip with my mom.

5) Two hundred dollars from the dad.



Does that make up for one missed birthday and a Christmas? I don't know. Well, to tell you the truth, I was surprised. My dad called the house. I was alone with my brother. He says he's sending someone to come over to give me some money for birthday. I just say 'okay'. So, this has got me worried. I didn't call my mom, didn't tell her. She doesn't know. Am I wrong for keeping it from her?

So on with the birthday thing. My dad sends one of his employees, someone I know, to our house, to give me 200 dollars. I don't think my dad can legally come to our house, with the whole divorce still going on. So yeah, the first conversation of any kind with the man in over 5 months, and that's all he has to say. I'm kind of glad. I didn't want to get deep.

My mom comes home and tells me that he asked for me at the store. Well, technically, his employee asks for me. Which, I'm guessing, is before the call. She asks me if I want to go, and I say no, well because, I already have what he was going to give me! She still doesn't know. I regret it, but I'm in a rut here. I've just complicated my life.

The divorce has been going on for about a year and five months now. Expensive supreme court lawyers, custody battles over my brother; my dad doesn't want custody of me. On the papers, it does. But it's only to look good in court. When I hit 18, he won't have to pay child support for me. It's only 3 years away. Ongoing disputes between my parents for their business. Money. It always comes back down to money.

Money ruined my life. And yet, I can't NOT have it. Maybe greed has pulled me in. Or perhaps, I'm only human.

When I'm 15

I'll be 15 tomorrow. I haven't made a big deal out of it. I don't feel any different. No parties, no celebration.

I haven't spoken to my dad in....well, a long time. I'd say since summer of last year? And what's weird is, he lives in the same town as me. In fact, I could walk about 50 feet and go see him. No, literally, 50 feet. But I don't. I've never had an emotional connection with him, and frankly, I don't know if I ever will. It shouldn't be my incentive to go. Today, he asked somebody to tell me to go see him tomorrow. It's my birthday. I didn't see him at all for my last birthday, when I turned 14.

So, I don't know how why. Oh, well. It's not a big deal. It never is.

5 days

I was planning on doing a blog everyday for a week until my birthday. Well, I forgot about yesterday so...never mind. I changed my blog URL again, I know. I can't keep on for long, you know. And that's the beautiful thing, I can change it whenever I feel like it.

Honestly, I have nothing to talk about. Whatever's got me worked up this weekend, you wouldn't care for, so I'm not going to tell you. I did mention it in one of my previous blogs, though, so yeah.

Five days until I'm 15.

I need some things to do in school. Like clubs, or something. I need to get started on my highschool career. Last semester was a daze; I only managed to maintain my grades. I didn't get anything done. If you've got any suggestions on what I could participate in, don't hesitate to tell me. Call me, text me, comment me, message me. I don't care. Just tell me.

I think I'm done here.

(Oh, yeah! I got a Twitter. It's really cool. I'm actually got it, because I wanted to "follow" Stephen Fry. Not at all in a literal sense, lol. That's just weird... But MY Twitter is twitter.com/christinaof94 , so follow me!)

Mad skillz or what?

As a few people in my life know, Photoshop is one of my hobbies. I like to do it for fun and the finished products always excite me. I'd like to share some with you! Here are a few of my creations. Be gentle; though feedback is always welcome. Don't knit pick it too badly; I'm very much an amateur.

Here's one, kind of a wallpaper.

I don't know what brought it on.
Kind of suckish, in my opinion.

I used the individual cast photos for this banner.

The process of cutting each person out isn't as grueling as you think.
As you can see, it's my blog header, though I didn't originally plan it to be that way.

Just a snippet of the above.

I cropped it and used it as my Yahoo! IM* icon.

Inspired by the one above.

I needed an icon for my account on the NCIS message boards, so I made one.
I also used the individual cast photos for this one.
Am I obsessed or what?

Aaannnddd, last but certainly not least, one of my favorites.
I loved, loved the quote, so I made this. I had to download that font, because it looked "sciency". What do yout think?

None of these are really that hardcore, pretty mediocre. I'm still proud of them, none the less. And also, if you read this post, please be sure to read and comment of some previous ones too!

*Speaking which, if you have Yahoo! IM, message me! My screen name is christinagosane .

7 days

This is my last week being fourteen. On this day next week, I'll be 15. I'm not doing anything to celebrate. I think I'm just going to go to the mall and splurge on some clothes. That's always fun, especially when doing it with friends.

Anyway, today, the Directv technician came and set up my DVR. EEE! Unfortunately, our 60-inch is still in the shop getting repairs, so my mother temporarily had the tech guy hook it up to a very little TV (what is it, 15 inches? lol) that we had in our kitchen, and moved to the living room. It feels so empty. I'm sooo anticipating its arrival, so I can bask in HD big screen goodness. But I still feel like a fool and an technologically impaired idiot for being so excited. I was sitting there flipping through the guide and pressing record like nobody's business. I've already set it to record the next two weeks' episodes of NCIS and House. This thing is great! I feel like a little kid in a candy store. I'd like to applaud whoever came up with this thing, because it's simply amazing. Yipee!


If you don't care for Bones, or anything that has to do with it, stop reading now.

Did you see last night's episode?! It was simply amazing. One hour is simply not enough for this program! I loved, loved, loved Teddy Parker. Booth should definitely hallucinate and see ghosts more often. On the down side, I thought the rescue in the helicopter scene lacked the emotion expected from two very close friends i.e. Brennan and Booth. I wanted to see a breakdown, some tears, or something! Maybe a kiss. ;) Alas, I am only a fan girl, and I can only dream. I did like the scene in the cemetary though. I only wish that Booth would've told Brennan what Teddy said.

-sigh- Another two weeks until the next episode, because it gets pre-empted because of stupid American Idol. My tv guide only shows up to the day before next Thursday! Once that sucker shows up, I'm hitting that record button faster than you can say Bones! :D

EDIT: Apparently, after the episode in two weeks, there will be TWO preemptions in a row! This makes me furious. I'll have to wait 3 weeks for a new episode after the one coming on the 19th. THIS SUCKS. It's all because of American Idol. I hate that show more now. With a passion.

All Men Are Not Created Equal

It's illogical to think that all men are created equally, simply for the mere fact that they are not. Although man has come a long way, we still have a longer ways to go. We have to learn that even though we are not created equal, without the same opportunities, the same privileges, nor the same standards, we all share the same attributes that make us, well, human. If you deny someone else their rights, no matter how much you despise them, you don't believe in freedom and equality at all. Your lame attempts to strip others of their humanity falls short from what you think is "right". Nobody is telling you to change your opinions about them. Simply give them their rights, give them what all humans deserve.

"To each his own."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And in the words of Atticus Finch...

"One more thing, gentlemen, before I quit. Thomas Jefferson once said that all men are created equal, a phrase that the Yankees and the distaff side of the Executive branch in Washington are fond of hurling at us. There is a tendency in this year of grace, 1935, for certain people to use this phrase out of context, to satisfy all conditions. The most ridiculous example I can think of is that the people who run public education promote the stupid and idle along with the industrious -- because all men are created equal, educators will gravely tell you, the children left behind suffer terrible feelings of inferiority. We know all men are not created equal in the sense some people would have us believe -- some people are smarter than others, some people have more opportunity because they're born with it, some men make more money than others, some ladies make better cakes than others -- some people are born gifted beyond the normal scope of most men. But there is one way in this country in which all men are created equal -- there is one human institution which makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, a stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is a court."

-Atticus Finch,
"To Kill A Mockingbird", by Harper Lee

Gung Hay Fat Choi...Kung Hey Fat Choy...whatever.

So today was the beginning of Chinese New Year. Why do we Chinese have a need a separate New Year? I don't know. I'm assuming it's the marking of the new zodiac year. Last year, was the year of the Rat. This year, the year of the Ox. So yeah. This morning, I woke to my mother cooking an array of foods. It's sort of like sacrificing. You set it in front of this thing......I'm not going to go into it. If you didn't know, it lasts about 15 days. We don't do anything, except for the first day (today), but elsewhere they have these extravagant events and stuff. A little known fact, I was born on the last day of Chinese New Year. Lol.

Anyway...this will probably be my third unread blog. I have NO readers! Haha, I find it hilarious. If I were to say, bash someone, on the internet no less, they wouldn't know! It's greaaaaat. If you read my previous blog, (which I'm assuming you didn't), you'd know that I'm planning to ask my mother to get a DVR. Why would I ask for a DVR for my birthday? I'm like, the only one in the entire house that watches TV. Lol. So yeah, my mom wouldn't get it for any other reason.

I'm going to be just jumping around from subject to subject, being completely inconsistent, so....

Any of you caught up in the American Idol hype? I'm sure not. I actually resent it. They're actually pre-empting Bones for it! Why does American Idol need 3 nights a week? It's just so stupid. But I know without a doubt that Fox puts it on the highest pedestal. As I'm rambling on, you probably don't care. Yeah. Whatever. And Monika told me Fox is one of the most "conservative" networks. I agree, it does appeal more to....white people. I'm not judging. It's an observation. Personally, I could care less. It's home to 2 of my favorite primetime television shows. Anyway, yesterday, I happened to tune into the show, "Talkshow with Spike ....". I don't know that guys last name. But anyway, they did a parody of a Fox newscaster interviewing people at the Inauguration. It was quite hilarious. You should watch it.

One last thing! On February 5th, at 7:00 p.m. (8/7 central, it's 7, if your in Texas, like me. :D), you should turn on your TV's and tune into FOX (said station that I was just talking about). An amazing episode of "Bones" will be airing. You should watch it, most definitely. I'm trying to draw in fans! I'm hoping and optimistic that this will be an exemplary example of what it's made of and what draws me in. You've probably noticed my unhealthy obssesion. I will be begging my mom to let me be home at that time. If I don't get my DVR by then. ;)

Here is the official episode description. I really urge you to watch.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5

--"BONES"(8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) CC-HDTV 720p-Dolby Digital 5.1

PA: Viewer discretion is advised.

THE GRAVE DIGGER RETURNS AND KIDNAPS BOOTH ON "BONES" THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5, ON FOX

Brendan Fehr Guest-Stars

When Brennan, Hodgins and author Thomas Vega are summoned by a Federal Judge along with the United States Attorney regarding the ongoing investigation of the Grave Digger, they learn that evidence from the case has recently gone missing. With Brennan and Hodgins having been victims of the Grave Digger and Thomas Vegas currently writing a book about it, they become prime suspects in the missing evidence case. However, when Brennan and the team receive a phone call from the Grave Digger informing them that Booth has been buried alive with only 24 hours worth of oxygen, the Grave Digger threatens to leave him to die unless Brennan brings the missing evidence. The team immediately goes to Booth's apartment to assess the crime scene, knowing from Sweets' psychological assessment of the Grave Digger that they cannot tell the authorities about the situation or else the Grave Digger will retaliate against Booth. As Booth struggles to free himself from confinement, the team joins forces to locate him with precious time ticking away in the "Hero in the Hold" episode of BONES airing Thursday, Feb. 5 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (BON-408) (TV-14 L, V)

And...the TV promo.

What's the point?

Honestly, I have nothing to talk about. I'll tell you straight up, I have no life. I am much more active on the Web. I've been in this exact spot since I've woken up. Well, maybe not the whole time. I DID get up to go to the kitchen and microwave leftover pizza. I was planning on ranting and complaining about some other matter, but I'm trying to restrain. I'm not going to complain...this time. So, I guess you're just shit out of luck.
So, the other day, I heard my mom talking to a real estate agent. They were discussing listing our house. Well, if you know me, you'll know that my parents are going through a nasty divorce. It has simmered down over the past couple of months. But hearing that conversation really made me sad. I don't know if I'll be here my sophomore year. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know if I want to stay another year and move my junior year, because that will mess everything up. If I start my sophomore year, at a new school, I might have a chance at....something meaningful. And maybe my high school career won't be such a drag. Ughhh, I don't know how I feel about this.
On a happier note, my birthday is 3 weeks away! I'll be 15! Almost close to being able to drive! I don't know what I want yet, or if I even want anything. My birthday is on a Friday. Perhaps I'll go shopping again? With some friends. That's always fun. That and/or....I'll ask for a DVR. Or Tivo. XD Seriously, I'm not even kidding. I need one. I can't be missing my shows again. And I can't stand the lag of online viewing. I don't see why my mom would refuse...it's only like ten more dollars a month right? Eh, I don't want anything big. I used to always want expensive things...like an iPod or a camera....but I don't need anything else. I don't want anything else. -sigh- I suspect this birthday is going to be quite dull. I think I may just go with the shopping spree with friends and DVR. That's not too bad to ask for, right?

Reflecting on myself yet again?

What kind of person do you think I am? It's not a rhetorical question. I used to be...funny, someone you could possibly relate to. Now, I don't think I'm the slightest bit humorous. I don't know exactly when, or even what brought it on. I guess I've taken matters into my own hands. To be taken seriously, and to be treated with respect. But I won't get any of that here. Here, intelligence gives you hate and resentment. I no longer strive to appeal to anyone. And that's the truth. My mind is no longer clouded with insufferable thoughts about what the next big thing is, or which peers I should impress. Now, I am simply....strange. Obsessing over prime time television shows. Giving myself a false sense of worth. I guess something about imagining yourself leading that fantasy life is so overwhelming. I want something out of life. To be something, to make my name known. To go to college, get a PhD and get known. For my intellect, my wit. Is that even rational? Honestly, the people here? They'll only hold me back. There's no one to understand me. I want to have fun, with people who are like me. Is there even someone relatively close? Maybe Monika. :) I'm not saying they are not good enough for me, but its that I'm not good enough for them. Can I say I'm not like normal teens? I want to be noticed, I'll give you that much. Physically? Not really. Sure, I love clothes. I love to buy clothes. Who's to say I don't care what I look like? Because I do. So very much. No one whats to be unattractive; you'd have to insane. But I'm saying I don't go semi-catatonic everyday I look bad. I want to be noticed. To be mentally, emotionally, and intellectually attractive. Is that too much to ask? Is there anyone out there to appreciate that? What's a girl supposed to do?
Those who were my best friends last year, don't even speak to me. Actually, to put it more bluntly, they don't acknowledge me. I've lost most of them. And it's not on bad terms, don't get me wrong. People change. I've changed. Am I completely terrible to say I don't care? I've begun to isolate myself, mentally. You won't know when I dislike you, at least, not 'til I verbalize it.

*Oh, dear. I'm currently watching "The Alamo" on AMC. I'm watching the scene where Davy Crockett plays the violin while the Mexican army drums in the sunset. It's quite beautiful and it always makes my heart swell. What can I say, one of my favorite movies.*

I'm beginning to resent my peers. Even those who consider themselves my friends. It's when the jokes are no longer funny, the pretend mocking is offensive and I stop laughing that I realize, you aren't my friend. I guess, I've put my heart into neutral and my brain into overdrive. I've begun to think more logically, to become objective. Of course, I'll never become completely un-subjective. I'll make more friends, eventually. Most likely in a different place. I'll still ogle guys, who would never even take a second to look at me. Hey, I'm only human. I still have feelings. And I don't think I'm better than some people. I know I am. I guess you could call me one of those superior types. No, I don't think I'm more important, or that my life has more value than yours, because I'm not. Every life is worth the same amount of regard, whether or not they get it or not. But it's just that I AM a better person than a lot of people. I go about complaining about how I suck, but I don't. I understand I am a likable person. I wish someone would just notice it.

Ah, what do I have it in for this weekend? A major PowerPoint presentation on France, a Biology project encompassing a 8 by 8 Punnett square, and an English assignment. Alas, the beauty and glory of the 3 day weekend.

And the ship has sailed.

Relief. At least for the time being. I have several thoughts swirling around in my heard, none of which will interest you, I'm assuming. I'm actually just typing this blog to do just that--to type a blog. I guess I'm going to see how this turns out.

So, if you know me in the very least, you should know that I'm an obsessive fan girl. I doubt anyone knows that behind my stonewall genius, I could be so naive. (haha, I'm only half kidding.) My weakness and obsession being? Anything and everything to do with Bones, NCIS, and House.

I could name you off the actors in the shows, the names of theme songs and who performs them. I've read and seen almost every interview to date, not to mention I know a lot of other useless trivia that will never help me. Well, that may be a lie. I've relayed several things I've learn from these shows (namely science and social studies) into school. And it's not like these shows are TOTALLY useless. I've developed my vocabulary and I'd even say it's changed me as a person. A little too deep and creepy, right? I know a lot more about stuff I would've never heard about, let alone be interested in. You're all probably thinking, "What a lunatic." But no, my fine sirs, I'm not. I'm just passionate.

If I could, I'd carry its beautiful forensic-medical babies. Okay, maybe saying that would make someone want to throw me into a loony bin. Hey! I don't mean it literally. I would give an arm and an leg to meet the actors. Or heck, to lead the lives of the characters portrayed. I wonder how long it takes to get a PhD in forensic anthropology? Or Psychology? Or perhaps to get into MIT? It's just that these shows highlight the zeal and sparkle of those things and it makes me just want to ingrain it into my identity. Is it silly to shape my future after such things?
I mean, I know it's obtainable, but is it realistic? Do you honestly think I can handle such a thing? I know without a doubt that those shows make it seem more appealing and action-packed than it really is. But I think something about it is real, don't you think?

Of course, how could I miss the shows' sexual tension between the characters. I guess that has a lot to do with what draws me in in the first place. I mean, I'm a total Booth/Brennan, Tony/Ziva, House/Cuddy shipper*. And in case you don't know what a shipper is, the definition is at the bottom. Anyway. I'm a big fan of procedural shows, but I what I love even more is procedural shows with character development. Each episode keeps me hanging off my seat waiting for the next weeks episode to see what happens. Then again, romance is my big thing. I am a hopeless, hopeless romantic.

These TV shows? I watch them religiously. And that, is a fact.

Haha, I totally made these definitions and this dictionary entry up. They're vaguely accurate though, lol.

*shipper \ship-er\ n
1. A fan devouted to a pairing of characters in a fandom.

"I'm a total TIVA (Tony/Ziva) shipper. I wish they would get together already!"

See also: ship

ship \ship\ n
1. Short for relationship.

"I see a ship deveolping between Muldy and Sculder."

I'm just hatin' and it's not because I'm jealous.

People are really 2-dimensional these days. In fact, to sum it up, I'd say almost everyone is. Most of the girls and guys in my high school, lack depth. They wear the same clothes. Whoever thinks A&F, Hollister, or AE is unique, is really, really out of it. Nearly every piece of clothing in those stores is PLAIN. But I'm not complaining. I admit, I have a Hollister shirt here and there. I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, per se, but people give it way to much credit. It's not very logical to go spend $50 on a T-shirt with a couple of words on it. I mean, okay, I'd get it if it was a nice cashmere shirt, or something with nice designs, but c'mon!
Did I just go off on a tangent about clothes? Okay, whatever. Now as I was saying about people being 2-dimentional. My classmates have one track minds. The girls, oh, those catty drama queens. And those moronic, idiotic boys who are always up to their worthless antics. And what's hysterical is that they THINK their problems matter. They all proclaim they're unique and peace-lovinging. Don't get me started about the "Don't start no drama with me, betch!" Please, you eat it up. What problems could you POSSIBLY have? Your BFF stole your man? Like you haven't done that to someone else. You had it coming.
They all think the same, shallow, unintelligent, thoughts, speak the same bullcrap, listen to the same music, date the same guys and girls, wear the same clothes, hang out with the same people, and start the same "problems". What's different about them? Oh, yeah maybe their faces.
They're incapable of thinking for themselves.
Parties. What the hell? You bastard children. You drink your lives aways. And you've bearly hit puberty! You're only starting to grow pubic hair, not to mention your penis with shrink by the time you ARE old enough to drink legally. Please, I've seen those girls "You'll never see me at any of those parties." Yeah, probably because people are tired of seeing you slutting it up.
And guys, stop boning every chick you see. And sending pictures of your penis to people. Nobody wants to see your barely pubescent wank. The girl who is asking you to do so, probably screwed all your friends, so you're nothing special.
They have no morals and their ethics are totally misguided. They are completely absorbed into the whole scene. Yeah, okay, so I indulge in some aspects of pop culture. You'd have to be living under a rock to not be. But these other people, they still ritualistically participate in the same antiquated routines. I fail to see how doing all of this is appealing. You put certain people on such ridiculous pedestals.
But all hope is not lost. The old song and dance has changed. The populars girls aren't just pretty faces. Who knows why they always proclaim to be ditzy and clumsy? It's not something to be proud of. But I will admit, some are acceptable. Academically, anyway. And it's okay to party and celebrate every once in a while. But doing it every weekend. It becomes old and obsolete. The smart guy can be the charming, charasmatic guy, as well.

So, what am I getting at? Just stop what you're doing and think, for once.

I shouldn't be doing this...

Right now, at this very moment, I should be typing my Polyphemus essay for English that's due next Friday. I COULD wait 'til the last minute, but I trying to ditch procrastination. It's not working out so well for me. I get distracted very easily. Well, I've got a title on the paper. And a sentence or two. That counts for something, right? Maybe that's just my justification to not do anymore. Well, it's not completely my fault. This assignment is completely skewed to begin with. We're supposed to answer these questions in an essay; a minimum of ONE page.

Do you feel sorry for Polyphemus?
Why or why not?
Justify your answer.

First off, if you don't know who Polyphemus is, he's the cyclops in the Odyssey. If you don't know what the Odyssey is, you should really, really pick up a book or two. I'm not saying this assignment is difficult, but it's absolutely pointless! How are we supposed to justify of feelings anyway? There's no justification for feelings. That's why they're feelings! UGH. You're probably thinking, "Why doesn't this stupid girl just go type that paper already, instead of typing this pointless blog?" Hey, in a blog, I can say whatever I want. And I'm not being forced against my will to justify my feelings. Maybe I'm just being bitter. Yeah, I know this year is off to a GREAT start. If you read this, please comment. You don't have to make an account or anything. It's that simple.

I'm really frustrated, merely because of the fact that this assignment is easy and I can't do it! Added to that, I'm already worried about college, how I'm going to get into college, and stuff like that. I'm only a freshman, mind you! I am like the mistress of worrying. And having anxiety attacks.

On a lighter note, there's an episode of Bones being shown at 6/5 central tonight on TNT. It's an old one, "The Intern in the Incinerator". From season 3, I believe. I'm going to watch it. Even though, I already have it on DVD. You should definitely go purchase it. It's Bones Season 3: Totally Decomposed Edition. Has a bunch of extras and special features.


And also, speaking of Bones, I will be typing a blog about it soon.

Aaannnddd, I think that about covers everything for this afternoon. If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to add it.

Christina in Acutality

Kung Hei Fat Choy?

A happy New Year's is long over due. I don't even know what to talk about. I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Christina. And I'm a "noob". There really is no purpose to this blog, actually. Some sort of New Years' resolution? Yeah, I totally thought of this whole concept like, an hour ago. XD

Well, a little bit about myself. I'm 14. Annnnnnnddd, I'm Asian, as I will point out to you many, many times. I enjoy long walks on the beach, baby animals, and romantic boat rides into the sunset. That was my jab at a pun. On a more serious note, I love many things, the things mentioned beforehand not being any of them. I love, love, lovelovelove the TV shows Bones, NCIS, and House. I also enjoy reading. Fiction mostly, as I find non-fiction to be very...2 dimensional. I also enjoy reading fanfiction. I enjoy organization. I'm not OCD, but I find it very,very refreshing. School is a big part of my life. I could even say it IS my life. See? I'm not a lost cause. I'm an exceptional student and honestly, I think my classmates are a bunch of Philistines. Of course, I don't think I'm superior to them in any way. In fact, I find myself envying them at some points, as most teens do. A big emphasis on the SOME.
On a lighter note, I think I may list a few things that hold my interest. I'll definitely be talking these things in future blogs to come.

agnosticism, anime, anthropology (of both the physical and cultural nature), BB, being taken seriously, books, bookstores that serve coffee, British accents, caramel frappachinos, cockiness, coherency, compulsiveness, computers, dropping it like it's hot, fan fiction, flannel shirts, forensic science, geeks, getting to the point, humanity, intellect, losers, manga, minorities, money$$, music of most varieties, neon colors, nerds, nice people, no drugs, no parties, philosophy, Photoshop, Pokemon, Polaroids, psychology, punctuation, rationality, science, shoes, T-shirts, taking pictures, the sound of the keyboard when typing, Tiva, typing, V-neck shirts, venting, working alone, working with others, your mom, Youtube(rs).

Where's the spell check on this thing?

Okay, so maybe I copied and pasted this off my interests section on Myspace. But that gets the jist of it. I most definitely DON'T know where I'll be going with this blog. I kind of want to hone my writing skills, as I have NONE what-so-ever. I think I may start a podcast, talking about anything that comes to my mind.

Oh! And speaking of myspace, you can add me @ www.myspace.com/cd_forever

It's 2:33 a.m. and I'm out.

Christina in Actuality